"My friendship is present enough..."

It’s that time of the year again. It’s that time when we stop and wonder, “Now where da heck did the year go?”

Another year has passed, we’ve all grown, if not taller, but wiser from what the year has taught us. From people we meet, friends we know, and acquaintances we’d rather not know.

I guess we’ve all been there, being the subject of gossip and bearing the brunt of it, and yes, I’m guilty too, of uttering slightly uncouth remarks of certain people. One of the simplest ways to prevent gossip is putting ourselves as the topic of conversation and see if we’d like it when people talk untruths of us.

The sharpest edge of a cutting remark, is the tongue. So, each time we feel the urge to say something spiteful, bite it!

It's that time of the year when I do realise my mistakes, and try not to repeat them, although some of them require more effort than others. But at least I know I’m working on them.

It’s that time of the year that I realise that it’s better to leave the negative people to their vices and know that we should not be poisoning ourselves unnecessarily with unkind thoughts.

I’ve learnt that with mindful meditation, improving on the art of "letting go" responsibly is a favour I ought to give myself. It’s always harder at first, but when we get the hang of it, it becomes easier and life gets simpler.

It’s that time of the year to be thankful for our blessings. To my good friends, thank you for the gift of your friendship and trust. We’ve been through good and bad. And it can only get better.

I'd like to share an excerpt from an SMS exchange between me and a friend who I call “Cutie” with a small “c”. Don’t ask why. He just is. Since that evening he shared the “stirring the straw” theory with me, I decided that he’s a friend for keeps. (I can imagine his response with those warm eyes crinkling and cheeky dimpled grin).

Rain: I’m kiasu, so I thot I wish u early Hapi Birdday. U’ll get your prez when u come bek.
Cute: Hey thanx. I like large gifts. :)
Rain: Methinx there r large chicks where u r. ;) Sumore sexy fiery ones.
Cute: Damn cold here lah.
Rain: D imaginatn does wonders. More reason 2 cuddle up. ;) So wen u bek?
Cute: Dec 24.
Rain: Oh xmas eve. Juz in time 2 gimme my prez. :D
Cute: My frenship is present enuf.
Rain: Aww… So sweet! (But cursin’ inside, “dat cheapskate!”). LOL.

But seriously folks, I realise that no gift is more precious than a wonderful friendship. (No cutie, I didn’t watch too much Oprah).

This year, during Christmas (with deep thanks to Jesus whose birthday we’re celebrating), I’m thankful to be blessed with the gifts of love, understanding, loyalty, care and more, from the beautiful people I’ll be sharing this season with. And to all of you, I give you my humble gifts of friendship in equal share and more in return.

(And just when I thought I may be a bit broke before Christmas, a friend promptly pays me for a last minute ASAP freelance job I did for him, a girlfriend offers to give me some cash advance until my salary comes in and another is helping to pay for my moving expenses. Thanks guys.)

It’s that time of the year again when it’s really beginnin’ to look a lot like Christmas. :)

Thank YOU for Loving

It's disappointing when certain people make wrong assumptions about others without even getting to know them better. It's even worse when sometimes close friends feel helpless to defend their friends because they know that the "strangers" would not understand.

But then, when we have expectations of certain close friends, we gotta realise that there'll be times when we will feel let down. Ah well, we've all gotta learn to not allow things like that affect us and let it go .

At the end of the day, we know that deep in our hearts, the closest of friends will believe in us, no matter what, because they understand us so well that no explanations are required to justify their faith. And they won't prejudge us nor anyone else for that matter. Everyone should be given the benefit of the doubt, sometimes more than once. But they should not take advantage of it.

For that, I thank you Doey dear. Thanks for being honest and frank, even if it hurts a little, for it is through the realisation from a dear friend that helps one to be a better person and friend in return. And thanks too, to your diva for helping you to realise that. Hugs.

Since it's Thanksgiving week, I'd like to give thanks to my close girlfriends for being the bootifull angels they are and for being there when it mattered most.

To Spunky, Princess, Artistree, Jetqueen, Pumpkin, Pandabear, Blueberry, Shimmer, Doey and the other gorgeous babes, I thank the Higher powers that our paths crossed and for allowing us to share the beautiful friendships we have. :)

Thanks to my family (real and "surrogate"), whom although now I'm away from them, for giving me the strength to be what I am today, for without them, I wouldn't have found the courage to believe.

Thanks to the few men in my life, I've learnt from each and every one of you. (am still learning, btw ;). Yes, you guys sometimes leave me exasperated and geram (translation: an edgier exasperation), but yet, I still love ya. But don't expect me to love you forever dahling, coz you gotta earn it.

To friends I love, and still do, I thank you for being there. I'm sorry for not being able to keep the "forever", since nothing is permanent anyway, but please know that you are appreciated (still). Hugs. Thank you all, for making life SO worthwhile. :D

p/s I wanted to stuff a duck in replacement for a turkey but Dom will have to make do with a non-stuffy big thank you from me. X.

"The curtain will fall soon enough on all of us. What will outlive us is not the applause, but the life lived."

Every Rose...

... has its thorn... just like every night has its dawn... (Ain't exactly my fave song but the lyrics somewhat sums up life's extremities - there's no one without the other).

When truth prevails, it can be so darn clear. When the realisation dawns, it's downright awakening.

As much as I tried to consider the pros more than the cons, to see the bigger picture, to look beyond the rose-tinted glasses, the truth still stood there. it didn't even need to try very hard to be noticed. It was just there: quiet, unassuming and clearer than moonlight's reflection on still waters.

When it comes to making sacrifices that required giving up the faith and what I believe in, it's just a no-go. To pretend that all is fine and lie to myself when deep inside I know it's not going to be, there's just no point holding on.

Sometimes love doesn't conquer all. Sometimes love just ain't enough.

Cold-hearted I may appear to be, believe me, it's not an easy decision. But with this decision I make I have no regrets, no what-ifs and no what-could-have-beens. It's time to move on.

Thank yous conveyed. Apologies uttered. Tears shed. Smiles given. Love shared.

It was good while it lasted. But it has to go deeper than that. Much more.

When your heart and soul knows, it just knows.

Here I go again on my own.

Football, fever, bugs

My preferred cure: Unlimited doses of Inzaghi.
He can make the bug Filip! I mean, flip.
Too bad he ain't playing for Italy this year :(

In the past few weeks, at least one of my friends would fall ill. It's either viral fevers of "unknown" causes which baffle the docs, never-ending coughs or other prolonging infections.

Blame it on the weather. Blame it on the rain. Blame it on the sun that shines... Now why does that sound familiar? Oh, oops, it's Milli Vanilli. Heh.

Yes, the bug finally caught up with me. No, not lip-synching of the MV kind, but the darn floozie flu. Drats. It's already two weeks. First it was the sore throat. Then the fever. Then the cough... And the cough... Ack!... Uggh!... The cold... And the batuk again... Koff koff!... Ahhh-ahhh-teeeesh-shoooo-I-wish-you'd-go-away-and-leave-me-alone cough.

It's been my constant bugger of a companion (even beat my boyfriend to it) for these gawd-damn weeks. It's there when I'm working, at home, when I'm sleeping, when I wake up, when I'm staring at the clouds, when I'm on the phone and even when I'm watching Ghost Whisperer on TV. It's like that lurking spirit with unfinished business in GW who coughs (pun intended) up a storm. Heck, it doesn't seem to understand the meaning of ENOUGH.

I've been making such regular appearances at the clinic that Doc starts making jokes about giving me injections with needles small enough for elephants and whales, after discovering my disdain towards objects of the pokey painful kind. Seems that this stubborn virus wants to be an irritating long-staying guest.

But of all the times to get sick, it has to be during the World Cup season. The medication makes me drowsy and I can't even fully utilise my medical leave to watch those late night matches. Hehe. If my colleagues read this, my mc's are valid ok?! ;)

England and Italy better make it up to me by playing better than their last two WC appearances. Ya ya, I know they ain't gonna win the Cup but they've been my favourite teams all this while, and no, it's not coz they got better looking players. But then again, that's a fact also! Inzaghi would be ideal to help me chase the bug away. Mmmmamamia... ;)

Looks like I gotta play the gracious hostess and let this bug run around and make itself somewhat at home. Coz I'm only lettin' it sleep on the sofa. Well, it's better than dealing with a difficult guest who makes life a pain-in-da-tooshie for everyone. And then when it starts to get comfy, I'll just quietly sneak up on it and give it a

Samba Kick that'll impress even Ronaldinho.

I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy lettin' the anti-biotics kick in while tryin' to catch some worthy clips of sweaty men running after balls. Till then, may the bad bug NOT be with you. :)

Happee

"You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, maybe not your time, that there'll be any fruit. But that doesn't mean you stop doing the right thing... You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result." - Gandhi.

When times are down, when you feel like there's no one to turn to, when there seems like your friends are never around when you need them most, when you feel like screaming out loud "Why?!?!" and jump off that balcony but just don't have the blardy guts to do it coz the thought of your innards and what-nots splattered across the garden below may not be a pleasant sight...

Ok ok, I digress... that's quite gory... but you know where I'm coming from. I'm sure some of us have had those times when it seems that nothing we do is right and we wonder about the existence and purpose of our life here. For this lifetime, at least...

Anyway, life is short. But not that short and meaningless enough for us to take it away from ourselves. That's a no-no. Don't you dare. Thought did cross the mind, but NO! Not only will our spirits be in limbo but it's bad repercussions for our karma. Have pity on our souls. No kidding. Pardon the cliche. Haha. Sorry if it offends some, it's just the Wesak Day effect on me. I mean well. :)

We are all here for a purpose. To meet. To part.

Everything is impermanent.

Back to the purpose of our lives. Our paths cross. We meet people. Good. Bad. We learn from experiences. Life sucks. Life's a blast. Life goes on.

Death. World doesn't stop spinning. Birth. Life's a circle. A cycle. Keep peddling. We'll get there... Where? To each their own. We'll know when we get There.

In the meantime, let us be thankful for our blessings. For being able to live and appreciate life. To meet good friends who are angels along the way. To meet "bad" people who makes us realise how wonderful our good friends are.

To Mum, who nagged and still does. Who waited in the rain to fetch me home. Who scraped for both of us after Dad left us. Who, despite being so protective till I resented her so much then, thank you for letting me go.

To Dad, who despite the brief moments together, thank you for showing me that the best way to have friends is to be oneself.

To Pek, who taught me that a small act of kindness lasts a lifetime. Thank you for the "knucklings" on the head, ("khooniaboh" - it's a Hokkien phrase methinks) and who enjoyed life by smoking a pack a day, drinking wine and coffee in abundance, and lived past 80.

To Ee, who was so frugal and "kiamsiap" (thrifty) that mum loathed her, but she gave us the homes we have today.

To CH who sent me the simplest of wishes but said loads in meaning. Thank you for helping me see the sunshine when the clouds were dark... And to the gang, thanks y'all, for helping to add colour to the rainbow when it was fading. :)

To the rest who I can't mention here coz if I do, I'd have to write a novel. (Hmm, not a bad idea eh? :) Haiya, you know who you are lah. Especially the perasan ones. Issh. Yes YOU. :P

True happiness really does lie within us. Not a tough choice at all. :)

Love's labour not lost

Valentine's Day is over-rated. Blardy expensive roses and so-called romantic dinners in posh restaurants and hotels. Flowers are lovely, but not on Feb 14. No thanks. Save the money and take me for an affordable holiday instead.

I'm not being cynical. Just realistic. Despite being a hopeless romantic at times, in my humble opinion, VDay's over-commercialised. Even though once upon a time I used to get upset not getting any flowers on VDay. Hehe.

But that was a looong time ago when Mills & Boons, Sweet Dreams and Sweet Valley High were the books of the day... When I wrote my first teenage romance novel. Inspired by my first major crush, Simon, it never got further than 5 typewritten chapters (envisioned the papers flying, Stephen J. Cannell style). But it did catch the attention of a teacher who wondered what the giggles in class were all about. No detention but a nod of approval. :)

So, anyway, what did we do on VDay?

Dinner, of course. At home. :) One of the best ways to a woman's my heart is through her my tummy.

Rosebuds at my front door led me to more on the balcony. A handmade card, a unique bouquet of flowers and candles on the table. I glanced (hungrily) at the menu, yes, he prepared a menu for the 3-course meal. (Of course hungry lah, dinner was delayed 2 hours!)

Dinner-turned-supper (thanks to the absurd jams caused by the heavy rain) was lovely, sayang. Thank you for the best VDay dinner. So far. (Burp!). Excusez moi. :P

Happy Valentine's, my friends. How did yours go? May each day be VDay for you. :)

On Fire

This Chinese New Year is hot! The weather, friends and fireworks. :)

CNY back at home in Penang was quiet. But noisy on the skyfront. Fireworks and firecrackers popped and fizzled everywhere. Even in KL on the 8th day of CNY when offerings are made to the God of Heaven, (pai tngee kong in Hokkien), the view from my condo atop a hill, was simply spectacular.

We spent close to two hours "oohing" and "aahing" at the flickers in the sky. At one time, there were 9 simultaneous displays all over the city. Boom after boom. Non-stop. They were like a few multiple orgasms right after another... Don't we wish we were like fireworks? ;)

Anyway, may the Doggy year bark in better tidings & prosperity for us all. Keong Hee Huat Chye. Woof woof woof!